【HP/FB 双语】GGAD通信集——三十五只猫头鹰(25)
Always no time. Even now you say you're running out. STOP LYING TO ME. TURN AROUND AND FACE ME.
你永远都在忙。就算到了现在你也还在说你的时间不多了。别 再 对 我 撒 谎 了 。你 给 我 转 过 身 来 面 对 我。
Voldemort Send him up here. SEND THE LITTLE SERPENT UP HERE. You taught me lumency, I'll lie through my broken teeth and laugh in his face—oh, it's been too long since I've had a good face-laughing, way too long, I haven't even seen a face in years—& he'll make it quick and clean, won't he, because I'm supposed to be afraid of Death Death who we sought to master Death who would be our third partner in hallowing this world Do you think he'd be ashamed to be caught red-handed in a simple mercy-killing I want to laugh & laugh & laugh at him—
伏地魔？让他来啊。让 那 条 小 蛇 来 啊 。你教过我大脑封闭术，我会在我碎掉的牙齿间冲他说谎、冲他大笑——哦，我已经太久没有开怀大笑过了——我会大笑着，太久了，我已经太久没有见到过活人了——而且他会做的干净利落地，不是吗，因为他觉得我会害怕死亡？曾经我们想要主宰的死亡？畏惧那个本应成为我们用圣器征服世界路上的伙伴？你觉得他会为在施行安乐死时被人抓了现行而感到羞耻吗？我想冲他笑，大笑，狂笑——
You taught me lumency, in Godric's Hollow, a millennia ago. Your mind was red gold and restoring fire. It was agony to have to block it out. Your fingers were long and slender on your wand. We were together, the world was good, the water ran clear, and then she died—
你曾在戈德里克山谷教过我大脑封闭术，时间一晃似乎千年已过。你的思想像是复燃的金红色焰火，将其阻挡在外的感觉令我万分痛苦。你握着魔杖的手指纤细而修长。我们互相依偎，彼时岁月静好，流水澄澈，然而接着她便死去了——
His mind won't taste good, will it I'll not swoon simply from seeing another human being I'll do right by you for once & you'll take It to your grave years from now when you finally & change the world yet again, you pompous, beautiful arse.
他的思想一定尝起来不怎么美味，不是吗？我不会仅仅因为看到一个活人就激动地晕过去吧？我终于能为你做一件正确的事情了吗？几年后，当你终于厌烦了动身去再一次改变世界的时候，你就会把它带进坟墓里，你这个自负的、漂亮的混蛋。
I can laugh even under torture, remember He'll never get It. Look at me, Albus, I've given up & gone mad. Sob into your sherry all you want now. I'd always faintly hoped you'd have the guts to own up to me—
在折磨里我还能笑得出来呢，记得吗？他永远得不到它。看着我，阿不思，我已经放弃了、彻底疯掉了。对着你的雪莉酒尽情啜泣吧。我还曾一直有点期待着有朝一日你能鼓起勇气向我坦白——
You ask after remorse. Well, I've gone mad now, so it's quite all right to tell you. Decades, Albus, decades sick with guilt. Muggle shrieks in my sleep. Thoughts of the lines of the dead I sent forth, the huddles of their families I left behind. Bodies turned under for mulch. There was a girl with a red shawl who wouldn't stop screaming. She's been dead fifty years and she won't stop screaming. Why do you think I clung to you so You were better than me, more or less.
你问起过忏悔。好吧，我现在的确是疯了，所以告诉你这些也没什么。已经几十年了，阿不思，几十年来我都是混在愧疚里度日。麻瓜们的尖叫在我睡梦中回荡。我做不到不去想那些我害死过的人，那些在我身后惊慌地缩成一团的失亲家庭，那些尸横遍野的恐怖景象。有一个系着红围巾的女孩一直在尖叫，她已经死了五十年了可却还是不肯停下。你以为我为什么要像这样抓着你不放？你是那种要比我更好的人，不论多少。
Of course, you knew that all along. That I regret, hate myself, hate what I did. Just like you knew that I would die for your idiot plans for It. Just like you knew that I'd write back when you wanted me to. Just like you knew that I've loved you since the day we met.
当然，你一直知道的——我忏悔，痛恨我自己，痛恨我所做过的一切，就如同你知道我会为了你为它制定的那个愚蠢计划去死一样。就如同你知道每当你想我来信时，我就会写信给你，就如同你知道的——我爱你，从我们相识的第一天起。
& you must kill the boy & you mustn't care about me. Potter & I your sacrificial lambs, burnt offerings to Voldemort & the greater good.
你必须得杀了那个男孩，你也务必不要去考虑我。波特和我，不过是你对抗伏地魔道路上的牺牲品，是的，为了更伟大的利益。
But what am I saying You are a charming old man, good-hearted, even sweet. & I am a lonely,repenting old sinner. There were Muggles marched to my outstretched wand, Muggles lined up before It, bare feet scuffing panic marks in the earth until I smiled, cold, raised It, sent green light sheeting like the aurora. Beautiful. Thrilling. Something rips in my gut every time I think of it.
但我又能说什么呢？你是个迷人的老家伙，善良，甚至可爱。而我不过是个孤独地，忏悔着的罪人。麻瓜们走向我举起的魔杖，在它面前排起长队，地面上留下他们赤脚踩出的慌乱的足迹。直到我冷酷地笑着，举起它，杖尖射出极光般的绿色光芒。美丽的。令人震颤着。每当我回想起这些，就像是有什么东西在撕扯着我的内脏。